Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom

I sat on the floor and listened to a casette tape from 44 years ago. Slow harmonic 1970s music played as two people in their 20s promised their lives to each other. This young couple could not predict the adventures, blessings and trials that they would face over the next decades. Moving between homes and …

Change is good but hard

"No!! I want Mommy!!!!" Elaina cried and "wham!" punched Forest where it really hurt (all the guys reading this can groan). As we prepare for the coming of baby number 2 my husband is taking on more care for our daughter. A change that is not easy for any of us. (well, it is nice …

Death and Life at the Library

I love our city library. I rarely buy books for Elaina anymore because she has hundreds to choose from in the children's room and she can borrow her favourites over and over again. Another thing I love about the library is that they often buy books when I request them! This is the latest one …

A Boy!

I lay on a table for 45 minutes while the ultrasound tech took pictures and measurements. I was starting to get worried about how long it was taking but then I heard, “Ready to see your baby?” The magical moment had come! “Everything looks great… growing well…looks like a boy!” she said while showing me …

Kicks

Pitter patter, tap tap, I can feel your kicks. Dark thoughts of miscarriage are chased away by your fluid acrobatics. Even at 19 weeks you are speaking truth: “He is not the God of the dead but of the living!” (Matthew 21:32). You love the children’s music that your big sister plays. Laughter and voices …

Having a daughter

I went for a walk tonight after a screaming episode with Elaina about wearing jammies vs. a dress. I was glad that it was Forest's turn to put her to bed. Escaping into the cool black night and pouring my stress into swift steps helped my mind untangle from the ugly knots of conflict. Elaina …

Sex

Today I am thinking about a piece I wrote for Mama Poems called “Two Become One and then Three”. It’s about the story of conception, with messy fluid and bare bodies bound together in love. My original title was “Blood, Sweat and Semen” but that seemed a little too scandalous so I changed it. I …

Special Announcement

It has been a while since I have written. Much has happened even as I have spent many days in bed with nausea doing nothing. Inside my body though a little baby is forming! My app says that he or she is about the size of a butterfly and tomorrow will be ten weeks old. …

Love and War

It was six years ago on Remembrance Day that Forest popped the big question. His obvious nervousness took away any element of surprise but he made up for it with a beautiful speech and ring. A ring so beautiful that it won us free champagne at our lunch spot. When I look back at the …

Happy Birthday Matthew!

My little brother with hair of gold and eyes of blue, today you would be 32. I wonder if you would have been a single dude Or celebrated with a family of your own. Today we put five candles on a donut and sang happy birthday. We celebrated that you were here to celebrate your …